I’m currently in Paris.
Two friends flew in from Cairo and London to join S and I. We got on the train to Paris just 4 hours after I finished my last Master’s exam.
It’s my first time in Paris and the city is truly enchanting- where we walked anyways. However, #SudanRevolts has been on my mind ever since it started and I was pushing myself to finish my thesis and study for the exam at the time when eruptions were taking place in Sudan.
I don’t take my work lightly – it’s a duty and a responsibility, but I was actively trying to (read forcing) get myself to work and follow up with the revolution. A Slovenian friend visited during that time – my thesis was due and my exam was creeping up on me, and she said I always pull through, so with that belief, I marched on. Calling that effort difficult is an understatement, but I got through and met my deadlines.
At the same time I started this blog, tried to get material on it and find people to help me – found them so a big thank you to everyone who has been helping put this blog together!
Paris? I’ve taken so many pictures of Paris. Mostly to remind myself of what I walked past, while my mind was thousands of miles away.
I don’t usually get nightmares, but I did. Intense, frightening nightmares. I’ve also recently watched the German film “Das Experiment” (trailer here), and questioned the nature of torture (all kinds) and how the human mind is capable of switching off the basic moral values that are boasted by society. This is a whole other post, if I make this sort of thing a regular gig!
A faint memory of Madame Tassauds Dungeon room in London comes to mind. I was 11 when I saw it and I remember. I remember it clearly.
In the nightmares, I’m not defensive, but honest and sympathetic.
Officer (s): Why were you at the protest?
Me: I don’t like what I see. I have everything and nothing to lose. I don’t like to see people suffer and the Sudanese people are suffering. We are divided, poor, uneducated, unhealthy and emotionally and intellectually chained to nothingness. I was at the protest because I know some can’t afford to fight this fight, but it’s not you that we are fighting – it’s the system that employs you. Nonetheless, it’s a fight. We are not copying the nearby revolutions, we need to change this regime. We deserve better. This land deserves better and if the current regime can’t protect its benefits the next one better be able to……
Online. I did and I will continue to do so. It’s important and will help.
I was having breakfast and people-watching this morning. My friend started talking to me on Skype. We spoke almost every day during the last few weeks, but I haven’t been on Skype much these days. Last time we spoke I asked her what she thought about the revolution and the response wasn’t far from the typical “حزب الكنبة”.
She surprised me, tremendously, by saying she was at Wadnubawi yesterday. At the protest. Inside the mosque. Got tear gassed and can still smell it in her hair. She was also upset that not many youth turned up, but elders held their ground against the torrent of tear gas. She was so upset, she wants to go to every protest in the coming days and until the change happens.
My friend, doesn’t want other people to endure all the pain of tear gas, arrests and torture, for her freedom.
My friend has not lived in Sudan before, she was abroad all her life and just happened to be in Sudan right now.
Last night I was Tweeting about the necessity to get friends and family on board. My friend lifted my spirits after a- somewhat disappointing, Friday.
Don’t drink wine and tell people to drink water.
I was told this by a beautiful Kenyan woman during a training I did in 2006.
I’m frustrated, excited, proud and disappointed all at the same time. The thought of going back to Sudan and revolting with my people has been twirling in my mind since Sudan started revolting in May 2012.
Today, it became a decision.
A few things I’d like to say:
- to the Diaspora: you all have responsibilities towards yourselves, family, jobs etc., but if you can make it, Sudan needs you now and this is an excellent chance to show that love you’ve been harboring for a a long time – from a distance. Everyone knows how much I hate long distance relationships, so I expect a few jokes and some teasing from my friends about this.
- to the women, men, boys and girls protesting religiously: it’s time to call out to the (unfortunately derelict) unions (engineers, doctors, teachers etc.), groups who harbor a grudge against this government (Manasir, Al Jazeera, etc.) and groups/organizations (لا لقهر النساء، etc.). Numbers are important, not Al Jazeera (my pet peeve to be honest).
To everyone who took part in #SudanRevolts – in and out, actively and indirectly, thank you, you inspire me and continue to strengthen my belief for a better future for every Sudanese citizen.
I read and reread this post and will follow it diligently, hope you all do.
I like to watch/listen to these to keep the goal in sight.